The small, hidden, anonymous God I found in the Gospels appealed to me deeply.
It's easy to scoff at miracles, but another thing I liked about Christ was that he never performed magic-trick miracles; he didn't pull rabbits out of a hat, or produce gold ingots.
He performed the miracle of the loaves and the fishes; he made the blind see, the lame walk, the deaf hear. He performed miracles to bring people alive; he operated on a higher level of reality in order to bring love into the world.
He didn't go off and sit in a cave and grant folks an audience one by one, like some wise old shaman, either; he mingled. He ate and drank with people; he touched them, human flesh to human flesh: demoniacs, lepers. And when he did heal, he never held the people up as sideshow freaks or floor models to show how great he was...
The small, hidden, anonymous God I found in the Gospels appealed to me deeply. It was the God I'd found in sobriety, who worked through other people, who had a sense of humor, who held me accountable and forgave me at the same time. Who didn't force or judge, just invited me to do a little better, then put the challenges in my path to teach me how.
Christ subverted all worldly systems — political, familial, financial: not for the sake of being subversive, but because acting with utter integrity is automatically subversive. He was left of the furthest left and right of the furthest right, both radically liberal and radically conservative. In one breath he could say, "Honor your father and your mother" (Mk 7:10) and in another, "let the dead bury their own dead" (Lk 9:60).
Heather King. "The small hidden God." excerpt from Redeemed: Stumbling Toward God, Marginal Sanity, and the Peace That Passes All Understanding (New York: Viking Publishing, Penguin Group Inc., 2008).
This excerpt appeared in Magnificat in October 2012.
Heather King is the author of three memoirs: Parched (New American Library 2005); Redeemed: Stumbling Toward God, Marginal Sanity, and the Peace That Passes All Understanding (Viking 2008); and Shirt of Flame: A Year with St. Thérèse of Lisieux (Paraclete 2011). She is a sober alcoholic, an ex-lawyer, a Catholic convert, and a full-time writer. She lives in Los Angeles and blogs at Shirt of Flame: Musings on Los Angeles, The Writing Life, Divine Intoxication, and The Thin Line Between Passion and Pathology. For more information, visit her website at heather-king.com.Copyright © Heather King
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